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merissa
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merissa

im having problems with m y bestfriend
she constant lies to me and she plans things to go out and never show up and i call no answer then the next day she apologizes and has an excuse why she didnt come this has happened twice already i mean whats the point of having a best friend or friend in that matter when they constantly lie and do things like that idk im confused on what i should do im fed up

please help !

posted over 9 years ago
polkadotlace
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polkadotlace

I really think you should find some time to talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel and that being a friend, you should not lie to each other and support one another.

posted over 9 years ago
 
merissa
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merissa

yeah ive talked to her about this more than twice and i dont want to keep repeating myself over and over shes not a little girl she knows right from wrong

posted over 9 years ago
 
kathleenphails
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kathleenphails

Try an intervention if she’s been doing this to other friends? More than one person telling her what she’s doing might help. Honestly, beyond expressing your feelings there’s not much beyond just ending your friendship. I really hope it works out alright, friend drama is terrible.

posted over 9 years ago
 
merissa
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merissa

weve just been best friends for years and this has just came out of the blue in high school we would do everything together

posted over 9 years ago
 
Cigsanddigs
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Cigsanddigs

Try talking to her about it first. If she doesnt have a reason and continues to do this, then you should definitly try to move on. It’ll be hard but you have to think about you too. Dont put up with this just because shes your best friend. I would say though you shoud really try and talk to her about it first and see if things can be worked out.

posted over 9 years ago
 
MurasakiNeko
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MurasakiNeko

If this is totally out of character for her, maybe there is something wrong. It’s weird when a person who is honest and always shows up when they say they will suddenly starts lying and getting flaky. Something could be majorly stressing her out, like her family, a boyfriend, or school/work, so that she just forgets about the plans she made, and she tries to cover her ass by lying. She also could be depressed. Having gone through some depressed periods myself, I got caught up in these weird cycles where I’d purposely isolate myself from people, not answer my phone, and skip out on things I’d normally be excited to do— and since I didn’t have a real excuse I would just make one up the next day because who was going to accept “I just felt like crap last night” as the reason why I didn’t show?

Maybe it will be hard for her to admit if she really is going through something that has made her lose so much control over herself, but if you two are close you should be able to talk about it.

But if this has been a problem for a while, or she doesn’t want to talk, or even after talking she doesn’t fix things (or seem to want to fix things), then unfortunately you may need to shift your attention to other friends, at least until she realizes her loss and gets her act together. It’s hard to lose a friend, but she’s not a real friend if she’s making you miserable. Either she’ll come around and your friendship will be stronger, or you’ve dropped a major stress out of your life.

posted over 9 years ago
 
lethappinessgrow
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lethappiness...

If you’ve already talked to her about it, then she knows it bothers you and she’s prolly doing it on purpose!

People are weird! Girls are vicous!!

I had a “friend” and we were super close at first, we would do everything together, but then I started feeling weird, kinda lk she was using me! Then when I got w my bf, she started acting even more weird! Now, about 3 years later, I’m finding out that she would always talk bad about me! I miss her a lot, but sometimes you just have to distance yourself! I guess having a best friend is lk having a boyfriend! Ha! Sometimes, they’re just not good for you, and you have to realize who is really your friend…and sometimes you just have to move around, and find other friends!

posted over 9 years ago
 
cindybot
Style_council
cindybot

have you ever sat down and had a serious talk with her about the way you feel? sometimes when people don’t speak up about their true feelings, the other person simply brushes it aside and assumes they can just trample all over you with no regard to the other persons feelings. i think you should talk to her and tell her that it makes you feel bad that she doesn’t cancel her plans and doesn’t even have the decency to pick up when you call. tell her you’d prefer she inform you when she is unable to make it as long as it is not a last minute cancel. if she continues on with her ways i would say that maybe you shouldn’t be friends with someone who is so inconsiderate.

posted over 9 years ago
 
lucie_in_the_sky
Style_council
lucie_in_the...

If i were you i’d prentend being distant to see her reaction. Most of the time that makes people react.

posted over 9 years ago
 
VivaciousVee
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VivaciousVee

Merissa,
I had a friend like yours in middle school up until high school. This girls constantly lied and she spread my secrets and other mean things. Truth is your friend is a toxic one. If i were you i wouldn’t waste anymore time being her friend. It seems like she takes you for granted.

posted over 9 years ago
 
PrincessFero
Style_council
PrincessFero

yeah this kinda sounds like whats been going on with me and my “friends”. Like We were happy then they slowly started to ditch me and and do stuff together and not include me. then they didnt understand why i got fed up and didnt want to hang around them or didnt talk to them much. well when i get angry at people i shut down and remove myself from the situation before i get upset and like flip out. id like to say this situation has gotten better but it really hasnt because im not going to beg them to be my friends and whatever. maybe after the summer it will get better but idk.

so you need to see how you feel. and either let go or try to work it out (and i know both seem hard but still…)

posted over 9 years ago
 
chicchica_bonita
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chicchica_bo...

give her a little talkin to…i had people like this, and i dropped them, but i understand its a best friend, and you probably can’t just up and do that, so try talking to her first…if it doesn’t get better…try working on a new best friend…i’ve had to do it…. :\

posted over 9 years ago
 
Dontyouevah
Style_council
Dontyouevah

You should talk to her. Explain that things can’t go on like this. How would she feel if the situation was in reverse? Don’t lose your temper, just calmly explain how you feel and why she needs to make some changes.

If it happens again, then I’m afraid she’s not worth your time. Find someone else who is trustworthy and reliable… That is what best friends are for :)

posted over 9 years ago
 
shelllovesyouu
Style_council
shelllovesyouu

Tell your friend how you feel. Tell her that you can’t take the lies anymore.. And if this doesn’t work maybe she wasn’t really the friend you need in the first place

posted over 9 years ago
 
fernandafgm
Style_council
fernandafgm

I think you should go find a real good friend to be your best friend. For many reasons my best friend is my twin sister since always and that will never change.

posted almost 9 years ago
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